The best ‘on the road’ toolkit in the business. The machine came with one of the very best toolkits ever included with a motorcycle, and once I discarded the pliers it looks like this: (Except for Walter Kaaden’s magnificent two stroke MZ racing motorcycles, I struggle to think of anything good that came from East Germany). The solution to all of the above comes, unsurprisingly, from Germany, or West Germany as I remember it, which is where my BMW R90/6 motorcycle originated in 1975. It will fail when you need it most, your busted knuckles testimony to its gripping power. This device has probably been the cause of more garage injuries than any other. Useless for either gripping or parallel squeezing.įinally we have the ultimate vice, the Vise Grip: The jaws are never parallel, meaning whatever they grip will be trashed, you can apply no effective leverage to the short handles and the cutter simply does not cut it. And shame on BMW for including this in the Airhead toolkit. But there’s always that handy standby, the pair of pliers. The patina may give you that warm glow of prizing a well used tool, but there’s nothing to prize or use here.Īaah! you emote. These specialize in brutalizing your fastener, insist on slipping, require near Schwarzenggerian feats of strength to use and, into the bargain, do a nice job of rusting out after a while. Now they reside on my peg board for decoration and as reminder that there’s one born every minute. So why do I have so many, you ask? Because I too was once young, foolish and ill educated. You try and adjust this horror to grip the hex head of your choice, find the jaws parting and the air gets blue with the ensuing garage language as you round the corners on the hex. Now let’s look at the four most useless tools that just about every mechanic has in his tool chest.įirst there’s the Crescent wrench which all and sundry brought up in England know as the Bodger Wrench: A serious mechanic will never use his and keeping this whopper in your pants will invite Mae West’s greeting wondering whether that is a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see her? I keep it because my long deceased mum gave it to me, thinking she was doing me a favor.īut the Swiss thing is, after all, a toy.
Of the dozen tools on mine only one is of use, the magnifying glass, and even that cannot be deployed without breaking a nail. The perfect example is the Swiss Army knife which some bozo, who has never turned a nut or bolt with intent, gave you for Christmas. Multi-purpose tools are generally useless.
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